Footballers Are Idiots

I’m talking about a dive. From one Spurs great to another, summer signing Didier Zokora took one of the most blatant dives seen in the Premiership in order for floundering Spurs to earn victory against Portsmouth.

As soon as he was in the penalty area, Zokora took an elegant tumble despite being nowhere near closest challenger Pedro Mendes and the referee, with an unhindered view, gave the penalty.

Striker Jermain Defoe did his best to miss from the spot but his effort was just beyond the reach of Pompey keeper David James.

View this master class in cheating from the Ivory Coast’s finest

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Manchester City bad boy Joey Barton is in trouble yet again after baring his spotty arse to Everton fans after the final whistle.

After City snatched a last gasp equaliser through another FootballersAreIdiots.co.uk favourite Micah Richards, Barton celebrated with his own supporters before mooning at the Everton faithful.

Why can’t Barton behave himself? The hot-head from Liverpool attracts trouble like the Fonz attracts ‘hot chicks’.

In 2004, he stubbed out a cigar in youth player Jamie Tandy’s eye and then broke the leg of a pedestrian while driving in May 2005.

He got two for the price of one in July 2005 when he managed to get into a fight with a 15-year-old Everton fan and had an altercation with team-mate Richard Dunne which saw the defender injure his foot.

That summer saw Barton fork out over £120,000 in club fines and this latest episode in his Hall of Shame is also likely to be a costly one.

See Barton make an arse of himself here

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Manchester City defender and elbow enthusiast Ben Thatcher will not face police charges after hospitalising Portsmouth’s Pedro Mendes.

Mendes, who was knocked unconscious on impact and suffered a seizure as physios tried to resuscitate him on the sidelines, insisted the incident was dealt by the FA and not the police so they had no choice but to let the matter drop.

Instead, occasional Welshman Thatcher will get away with an eight match ban (with a further 15 match ban suspended) and fined six week’s wages.

Justice, I’m sure you will all agree. Ahem.

Relive the horror elbow here

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A Brazilian referee amazingly awarded a goal scored by a ball boy to allow Santacruzense snatch a last minute 1-1 draw in a regional state tournament in Sao Paulo.

A Santacruzense player shot narrowly wide and the ball boy returned to the pitch with the ball at his feet. However, instead of giving it to the goalkeeper, he cheekily tapped it across the line into the net.

Unbelievably, despite there being almost 10 seconds between the shot going out and the boy nudging the ball over the line, female referee Silvia Regina de Oliveira, the first woman to have refereed in the Brazilian Championship, awarded a goal amid furious protests from Atletico Sorocaba.

She did not see the goal herself but apparently based her decision on the lineseman, so he obviously wasn’t paying much attention either.

“I should have trusted my own vision” Oliveira said, as she anticipated a deluge of ironic television advertisement offers from opticians and corrective laser surgery specialists.

You don’t say, love. This sort of idiotic behaviour truly defies belief but you can watch it yourself courtesy of the wonderful YouTube.

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Promising Manchester City youngster Micah Richards threw what can only be described as a “hissy fit” when he was substituted on the hour in the Blues’ 1-0 defeat at Reading last night.

The 18-year-old threw his shirt to the ground and waved his arms in disgust following his exit from the pitch and this was broadcast live on television as Sky was covering the match.

Ironically, team-mate Paul Dickov, known himself for his fiery temper, had to calm the youngster down after being substituted at the same time.

Manager Stuart Pearce was not impressed by the teenager’s unprofessionalism.

“It is my job as a manger to educate young players and that is what I will do in this case” he said.

Let’s hope the “education” involves Pearce’s boot and Richards’ arse in the same swift movement. Idiot.

Watch some prepubescent petulance here

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