Footballers Are Idiots

Aston Villa’s new £8 million signing, Stilian Petrov, has revealed he comfort ate cheap burgers from a fast food van as he struggled to settle in Glasgow following his move from CSKA Sofia in 1999.

Petrov, who was signed by unsuccessful manager John Barnes, failed to fit in at Celtic Park and piled on the weight as he scoffed cheap burgers. He even served bemused customers from behind the counter as he battled against lonliness.

Martin O’Neill was appointed in 2000 and helped fatty Petrov, who had put on more than a stone of burger blubber, get into shape and become an integral part of the Glasgow club until he followed his manager to Villa Park this summer after seven years in Scotland.

Share This

In a desperate bid to escape from the breadline of £70,000 a week and join a club which could afford him a salary he could live on, Chelsea claim William Gallas threatened to score an own goal if he was selected for the team.

Gallas, who joined Arsenal on deadline day last Thursday, is claimed to have threatened if he was forced to play, or if he was disciplined and financially punished for his breach of the rules, he would score an own goal, get himself sent off, or make deliberate mistakes according to an official Chelsea statement.

This is the sort of petulant behaviour you would expect from a child who didn’t want to play on the same team as someone else in the playground at lunch time, not a seasoned international closing in on his 30th birthday.

Gallas’ return to Stamford Bridge with new club Arsenal on the 10 December should make for compulsive viewing.

Share This

Last Thursday’s transfer deadline day was dominated by the high profile, if not highly dubious transfer of Argentine duo Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano from Corinthians to West Ham United.

The exact terms of the transfer are unknown, which makes it all the more intriguing. Speculation if rife with one theory suggesting Roman Abramovich is involved in the deal somewhere along the line and the duo are to get a season’s Premiership experience before moving on to Chelsea.

If the pair honestly had their pick of the top clubs in Europe and beyond to choose from, then why on earth would Upton Park be their move of choice. It’s simple if you believe that Maschareno cites Anton Ferdinand as one of his main reasons to play in the claret and blue, as he is player who is talked about all over Argentina, apparently.

Come off it, what do you take us for? Idiots?

Share This

Why do England footballer’s always play themselves up a few months after failing miserably yet again at a major tournament? Why do they do it before playing a useless minnow side they have no chance of losing against (OK, apart from Northern Ireland)?

And why do they try to sound all the more convincing when there’s almost two years to go before they stuff it up again on the World stage?

Just hours before England play a “massive” Euro 2008 qualifier against the giants of Andorra, World Cup flop Frank Lampard has claimed he will not “shirk responsibility” as England’s penalty taker because he is “big enough”.

But enough about Frank’s wasitline. England footballer’s are all talk. They profess to be the best in the world but ultimately bottle it when it really matters.

A friendly 4-0 win against Greece followed by a likely thumping of little Andorra will duly see them as “world beaters” yet again and the usual “bring on Euro 2008″ garbage will follow soon after. Idiots.

Share This

Promising Reading striker Leroy Lita is doing his best to ruin a great start to his season by getting himself arrested on suspicion of grevious bodily harm.

Lita, who scored the winning goal against Middlesbrough on the opening day of the season, was questioned by police in Bristol after allegedly headbutting a man during a night out.

Lita has been accused of leaving his victim with a black eye. I thought given the player’s diminutive stature, a kick in the nuts would have been the best he could manage. 

Share This

Permanently injured defender Jon Woodgate has returned to the Premiership by joining Middlesbrough on a season long loan from Real Madrid, with the option of making the deal permanent.

The former Newcastle United centre back, cruelly nicknamed Village by his team mates due to astounding brain power, made just 14 appearances in Spain since his £13.4 million arrival in 2004 and memorably marked his debut by scoring an own goal.

Manager Gareth Southgate has such confidence in Woodgate being a success at the Riverside Stadium, he also went and snapped up Chelsea defender Robert Huth. You know, just in case.

Share This