Footballers Are Idiots

Following a diabolical goalkeeping display by Paul Jones on the weekend, England proved that anything the Welsh can do, they can do it better and that includes being rubbish in goal.

All of Tottenham goalkeeper Paul Robinson’s nightmares came true against Croatia when a he missed a simple backpass from Gary Neville and allowed the ball to roll into an unguarded net.

Upon closer inspection, the ball hit a diviot on the pitch and bounced over Robinson’s foot but that doesn’t make the whole sorry incident any less funny.

Watch the hilarious video here

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Goalkeeper Paul Jones had a match he will be unable to forget as his 50th appearance for Wales ended in farce.

Complete with a silly haircut, left, veteran Jones had a nightmare against Slovakia who crushed Wales 5-1 at the Millennium Stadium, their worst home result for 98 years.

Jones’ misery began as Wales were 1-0 down. A trademark sliced clearance while under no pressure landed at the feet of striker Mintal who fired into an empty net from 35 yards.

Mintal smashed in his second from distance a minute after Gareth Bale had brought Wales back into the game but by this time the home nation trailed 3-1 at the break.

Jones was caught off his line and again beaten from long range for Slovakia’s fourth, with Karhan curling in from 30 yards.

Watch the Paul Jones horror show here

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Just a short and sweet entry today, one which can be classed as “taking a quote out of context in order to get a cheap laugh”.

Since being dropped from international duties, former captain David Beckham claims “it hurts to watch England”.

I’m sure 50 million other English men, women and children would agree, given such dire performances when it matters the most.

Not me though. Being Welsh it always amuses me to watch England do so badly.

Sven Goran Eriksson could have had a job for life as far as I’m concerned.

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The arguments for some sort of “numpties” qualifying group grew stronger last night as World Cup hosts Germany beat San Marino 13-0 on their own patch in a Euro 2008 qualfier.

The top nations should not have to waste their time against the minnow countries, especially the likes of San Marino, the third smallest nation in Europe behind Monaco and the Vatican City.

What can three-times World Cup winners Germany possibly learn against opponents comparitive in size to Falmouth or Wisbech and one that has only ever won once at international level in its entire history (a 1-0 friendly victory against the mighty Liechtenstein in 1994)?

These cakewalks are a complete farce and the sooner the minnow nations are lumped together in a group, with the winner facing a slightly better team as a reward, such as Israel or Cyprus, the better.

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After a pathetic showing in this summer’s World Cup, the England spin machine is in full rotation after new manager Steve McClaren hailed his side after their 5-0 win against minnows Andorra.

“They handled the game very well”, he said of his England side, “It was always going to be a test for us, we controlled the tempo, were patient, and never got frustrated”.

McClaren’s comments beggar belief. A test? I took harder tests in school when I was seven. Of course England should beat a joke side like Andorra, you idiot. They are a part-time outfit with a total population on a par with the town of Bargoed in South Wales. Accrington, Redditch and Weston-super-Mare have a larger pool of players to choose from than the tiny landlocked principality. In fact, if every person who lives in Andorra watched the match at Old Trafford where England displayed such dominance, there would be seats to spare.

What’s even more pathetic is that an England side worth millions in an open transfer market and who earn in excess of a million pounds a week between them, only managed to score five goals against a woeful side that a team in the Conference would beat comfortably.

Even Scotland put six past an arguably better side in the Faroe Islands and they don’t even have a recognised international goal scorer in the team.

Worse still was John Motson’s commentary during the match. The old patriot was almost wetting himself when the fifth goal went in, although that could be a sign of old age.

“Six against Jamaica, four against Greece and now five against Andorra” he enthused.

It was as though the World Cup never happened…

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