Footballers Are Idiots

Manchester City bad boy Joey Barton is in trouble yet again after baring his spotty arse to Everton fans after the final whistle.

After City snatched a last gasp equaliser through another FootballersAreIdiots.co.uk favourite Micah Richards, Barton celebrated with his own supporters before mooning at the Everton faithful.

Why can’t Barton behave himself? The hot-head from Liverpool attracts trouble like the Fonz attracts ‘hot chicks’.

In 2004, he stubbed out a cigar in youth player Jamie Tandy’s eye and then broke the leg of a pedestrian while driving in May 2005.

He got two for the price of one in July 2005 when he managed to get into a fight with a 15-year-old Everton fan and had an altercation with team-mate Richard Dunne which saw the defender injure his foot.

That summer saw Barton fork out over £120,000 in club fines and this latest episode in his Hall of Shame is also likely to be a costly one.

See Barton make an arse of himself here

Share This

Not really an “idiot” story as such but rather an example of a German attempt at what we call “humour”.

Werder Bremen goalkeeper Tim Wiese had a small glass bottle with a smashed neck thrown at him during their derby match against Hamburg.

What could have been a particularly nasty incident was played down rather by the man on the tannoy who announched:

“Don’t send Wiese any more drinks”.

Priceless.

Share This

Mick McCarthy saw his Wolves side trounced 4-0 against Championship leader Cardiff City on Saturday but it wasn’t the first time a team under his management came unstuck at Ninian Park.

The first half sending off of defender Gary Breen with the score at 0-0 was reminiscent of when McCarthy took his Sunderland side to South Wales in February 2004.

That afternoon, defender Joachim Bjorklund received a straght red after 17 minutes and the Bluebirds went on to hammer the Black Cats 4-0.

It seems that in football lightning does strike twice.

Share This

I’m talking about a dive. From one Spurs great to another, summer signing Didier Zokora took one of the most blatant dives seen in the Premiership in order for floundering Spurs to earn victory against Portsmouth.

As soon as he was in the penalty area, Zokora took an elegant tumble despite being nowhere near closest challenger Pedro Mendes and the referee, with an unhindered view, gave the penalty.

Striker Jermain Defoe did his best to miss from the spot but his effort was just beyond the reach of Pompey keeper David James.

View this master class in cheating from the Ivory Coast’s finest

Share This

Striker Aleksandr Shirko, who plays for Russian whipping boys FC Shinnik Yaroslavl made the headlines over the weekend for doing what Eric Cantona did 10 years ago.

No, not putting in displays of sheer excellence on the pitch and scoring sublime goals, but getting into the crowd and giving someone a damn good hiding.

Bottom club Shinnik were walloped 6-1 at home against Rostov and the players endured plenty of abuse throughout the match from their own fans.

Shirko obviously took more offence than most and after the match, waded into the crowd to dish out a little Iron Curtain justice.

Watch Shirko wallop some Russian loudmouth

Share This

Following Paul Scholes’ venture into alleged homophobia last week, Rio Ferdinand didn’t want to miss out on football’s latest trend and nailed his colours firmly to the mast on national radio.

The random drug test dodger sparked a row when her branded Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles a ‘faggot’ during some banter between the pair on the breakfast show.

Referring to two United players by their nicknames, Moyles asked: ”If you had to, who would you rather go out with - Smudger or Scholesy?”

Ferdinand replied: “That is not my bag that, that is not my game, talking about going out with geezers.”

Moyles jokingly suggested he would always prefer ex Leeds United striker Smith over ginger Scholes, Ferdinand declared: “You’re a faggot.”

As the production team in the studio expressed shock and disbelief, England international Ferdinand quickly backtracked and with: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m not homophobic”.

Not much. As long as those ‘dirty queers’ don’t come anywhere near you eh, Mr Ferdinand?

Share This

Here at FootballersAreIdiots.co.uk, we like nothing better than a dose of self-delusion and they don’t come more deluded than Stan Collymore.

One of football’s great wasted talents, last seen on the pitch back in 2001 but rarely out of the media spotlight since, Stanloi is prepared to make a comeback at the age of 35.

The girlfriend-beating dogging fanatic is frenetically completing a three-week training session in Tenerife in order to make his great return to the Premiership.

All he needs is a willing (read desperate) taker.

After an awesome spell at Nottingham Forest and a decent enough one at Liverpool, Stan was never that good following moves to Aston Villa, Fulham, Leicester, Bradford and finally Real Oviedo.

So what he thinks he can achieve in a faster, harder and more competitive Premiership than it was when he hung up his boots five years ago only he will know, but it would certainly be hilarious to watch.

Despite his lack of involvement and as ridiculous a comeback may sound, Martin Tyler’s commentary of “Barnes… Rush… Barnes… Collymore CLOSING IIIIIIINNNNN” during Liverpool’s 4-3 win over Newcastle back in the late 1990s will be echoing in some managers ears.

Neil Warnock, at Sheffield United, loves to have a large quota of non-goal scoring strikers on the books while Sam Allardyce can never resist a “big name” freebie, even if they turn out not to be very good - Mario Jardel, anyone?

A shock announcement could be imminent but in the meantime, look back at when Stan was the man

Share This

Those hot heads from South America love a good ruck, especially with players of their own team.

Supporting the boys when the chips are down is not the done thing in Brazil, as Cortiba players found out at an airport as they returned home from a defeat at Ceara.

Television pictures showed chaotic scenes as the players were met by furious fans as they entered the arrivals hall.

Witnesses claimed that several players and club security men hit back at the fans while rubbish bins were tossed around the hall.

The melee went on for several minutes before police brought the situation under control.

Watch the violence here.

Share This

Goalkeeper Paul Jones had a match he will be unable to forget as his 50th appearance for Wales ended in farce.

Complete with a silly haircut, left, veteran Jones had a nightmare against Slovakia who crushed Wales 5-1 at the Millennium Stadium, their worst home result for 98 years.

Jones’ misery began as Wales were 1-0 down. A trademark sliced clearance while under no pressure landed at the feet of striker Mintal who fired into an empty net from 35 yards.

Mintal smashed in his second from distance a minute after Gareth Bale had brought Wales back into the game but by this time the home nation trailed 3-1 at the break.

Jones was caught off his line and again beaten from long range for Slovakia’s fourth, with Karhan curling in from 30 yards.

Watch the Paul Jones horror show here

Share This

Following the farce which saw a ball boy’s goal being given, South America continued it’s idiotic attitude to football by employing the Budwesier “Added Time Multiball” gimmick.

In the last minute of an Ecuadorian league match between Deportivo Quito and LDU, a corner was awarded but Quito keeper Daniel Viteri still has a ball in his hands.

What follows is almost unbelievable. The corner is taken with a second ball and Viteri tries to shoot it out of the air with the ball he is still holding. 

To make matters worse, a goal is scored, it stands and LDU earn a 2-1 victory.

You’d never (perhaps) see this on Match of the Day

Share This